In London (Part 1) – Mr Black Hipster

DISCLAIMER: I’m kind of in character for this series, so no offence taking please. Unless, of course, you wish to take offence, then go ahead. Just explain why in the comments.


-Unseen Flirtations

In London (part 1) – Mr Black Hipster

So I was walking through Hackney
And practically everyone was looking right at me:
Attacking me.
Well, not really attacking me, but challenging.
Well, not really challenging, actually
Most of them were jogging in their Nike or their Adidas,
Children with their Micro scooters pushing with their grannies and
Yummy mummies tummies and the yoga pants,
Swinging while they’re running with their shoulders back,
Cool as hell.
Toddlers up around their necks, Superdry
Jackets and the Hunter wellies round their necks. Who was I?
Mr Black Hipster.

Suddenly, I see a loop of hipsters in the distance,
And I get to wincing.
Cos I’m looking at them
And I’m looking like them
And I should dislike them
But I think I like them.
Super-trendy whiteness, culturally blind and they are breezing through the city like
Trendier than I was, when I was 25
Man I was flipping through VICE to get a glimpse of all this life
And now I am a social climber – Introverted rhymer,
Walking through a crowd of people like I was Obama.
Yes I can be calmer.
So as I pass the hipsters I do nothing part from listen closely for the faintest whispers,
As you must remember, that I’m the 1 in 10
And yes I’m wearing trendy glasses so they’ll think I’m Tinie Tempah.

What’s with all the temper?
What’s with the aggression?
Man these men are nothing more than boys with beards and skinny legs
And arty girlfriends who are renting.
And while they are renting,
They are preventing
Post codes from descending.


Is a big word to be stating, cos I’m not a native to a single single place
And now I’m feeling like a foreigner:
Status quo botherer,
London city resident who doesn’t really qualifer –
Qualify, good golly, wha’gwan what am I
Saying? Good golly these guys are multiplied.
Middle-class mogwai:
Feed them after midnight, wake up in the morning and just see what it will look like.
Fixy-bike white boys and Bonham-Carter coffee drinkers,
Bona-fide London city tourists have begun to linger.
And bona-fide black guys, who grew up on that side
Of the tracks, are the shit, like,
They attract flies.


Cool black guy, like an athlete,
Running through the city from Highbury to Hackney,
Hackney to Hounslow,
Hounslow to Brixton,
Brixton to Highbury,
Where have I missed, um…?

to be continued


3 thoughts on “In London (Part 1) – Mr Black Hipster

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