‘GOVE PARTY’ – Unseen Flirtations vs Michael Gove

What’s up Mr Gove? Here we go again. Six weeks over and the summer’s at an end
And you’re still making headlines, still no chin, and we’re still not friends and I really won’t pretend.
Results day came and the results came in and lo and behold the grades didn’t swim.
English? Down – sink or swim, they sank and drowned and this is the thing:
A lot of kids might have deserved their Ds, Es, Fs, Gs…
But some of those Ds couldv’e been Cs…
And, yes, these, grades were changed ‘cos of boundaries…
This, must, mean, that their hard work means less than you care, how dare you toy with their lives unfairly.
I will tell you this to your face, don’t care what you say, what you think, don’t flinch.
I’m a teacher and I’m speaking loud and clear and I’ll stare you out, don’t blink.
We’re teachers and the kids need us like air and you are pollution, stink.
Grades Day could’ve been a party, but you came and farted
Lowering the tone and fucking up my classes.
Tell me sir do you think we’re all as dumb as you look?
The grades were high, it made you cry and so you try to re-write the book.
“Grade inflation across the nation – Labour failed them children, look!
I’m Saint Gove and I will save them now by making rigorous changes…”
How does making the marking harsher actually make the content harder?
You don’t know what I do in my classroom,
You don’t know what I do in my classroom,
If you came and visited for only just a minute, you would see me teaching skills that hopefully will not diminish.
The exam is just a hurdle and we’ll see you at the finish,
This is Politics to you but all these children have to live it.

(Welcome to the Gove Party!)
Consider this a lesson, all these adolescents stressing ‘cos Michael Gove is a questionable
Secretary of Education, he’s kind of scary,
And I don’t believe him like I don’t believe in fairies.
(Welcome to the Gove Party!)
Consider this a lecture – the future’s alreadfy tough and now Gove’s increasing the pressure…

My cousin…
A in Maths,
English: D
Doesn’t know why, asks me, and I tell him “G. O. V. E.”
Not an excuse, I’m talking the truth, the game isn’t fair ‘cos the posts have been moved.
Try and score a goal and the net isn’t there, coursework controlled and that isn’t fair.
Coursework shouldn’t be a thing you do in just one take
It takes improvements and to do it properly allows mistakes
But turning it to an exam is underhand and raises stakes
And every teacher in the land will have to boost their grades,
And that is the basis of inflation that we’re reading in the papers
GCSEs out of favour and who’s here to save the day?
It’s Michael Gove promoting O Levels as if they’re back in date,
We did away with them in 1988 for goodness’ sake…

(Welcome to the Gove Party!)
Everybody loses.
Taking Labour’s mess and then blaming it on the students.
No I don’t believe that everyone should go to uni, but the government should help you to flourish ‘cos it’s their duty
To do this. But now Michael Gove is going so ruthless
That we need to take control like remotes and go reboot this
‘Cos the system isn’t flowing it’s broken and rolling useless
And the kids are in the middle we need to protect their futures
And all you teachers listening, sitting by your computers:
The truth is that we’re the ones who can do this, we need to prove it.
I know that Michael Gove wants to get rid of us if we fight him,
My advice is to be amazing to really spite him,
That’s it.

-Unseen Flirtations

G to the Izzo – Anti-Gove Anthem

Michael Gove is a Monster


2 thoughts on “‘GOVE PARTY’ – Unseen Flirtations vs Michael Gove

    • Thank you.

      Every word heartfelt – I’d LOVE to see Mr gove’s reaction to an Outstanding teacher rapping over Meek Mill instrumentals about how much of a failure he is.

      Thanks again,


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