Like Gatsby at Thirty

Like Gatsby at Thirty


More introspective ramblings from your friendly neighbourhood Unseen Flirt. Inspiration taken from the enduringly beautiful ‘The Great Gatsby’, by F. Scott Fitzgerald.

Click below to hear the song, words beneath that:


-Unseen Flirt


Gatsby: I’ll fix everything. Just the way it was before, she’ll see.


Nick Carraway: You can’t repeat the past.


Gatsby: You can’t repeat the past? Of course you can.


For the meantime, I’m on the right side of thirty.

I’ve made it pretty far and yes I think that I’m deserving,

Of congratulations for my status and my earning

‘Cause I’m worth about a grand for every year the earth’s been turning.

In my current incarnation I’m a teacher, but I’m learning –

Pleased to meet you by the way, my name is Jeffrey and I’m yearning

For approval at the least and at the most your adoration –

A healthy base of fans and heavy radio rotation.

Amazingly creative and creative is amazing

To the vast majority who take the given like it’s taken

And consume what they are given like a baby at the nipple,

Drooling like a stag of lechy men presented with a little

Bit of flesh.

I’m testing you.

I’m rapping like a riddle.

Consider every line a clue, another ‘pus of pizzle’,

Another ‘piece of puzzle’… Man I had to make it rhyme…

Right, where was I? Oh yeah, I’m…


…On the wrong side of thirty.

Immature enough to actually think that I can turn the

Visions in my head to something real that isn’t blurry –

Call it ‘naïve optimism’ if you will – your words can’t hurt me.

I’m married to the alphabet,

I’m widely known as wordy,

I wear a pair of specs just to confirm that I am nerdy,

And though I’m not a spotty fool I am an oxymoron

‘Cause the clothes I wear are cool and fashion really does divert me.

Right now?

I’m recovering from Wednesday night’s beer.

You think I would know better in my twenty-ninth year

I mean,

Going out and getting pissed with my peers,

And buying beer when I have plenty right here.

That was a little joke – you didn’t get it I fear.

I bet you really hope that it gets better right here.

I have the kind of mind that people might fear,

So I’m tryna make light about the best of my years



Right now?

I’m on the wrong side of twenty.

It’s taken me too long to actually stop and reinvent ‘me’.

My energy is flagging like a Union Jack presenting

Decoration for a celebration waving at the entry

Of the latest alias I’m going under – simply ‘Jeffrey’.

The name my parents gave to me when I was just an embry-



It’ll do for about a century.

Or however long I last before I fill an empty

Casket, and my heart gets

Stiller than Ben

And my arm gets

Rigid and stiff with no bend

And the only evidence that I existed is an empty

Memory stick of songs that were deleted accidentally.

Morbid, huh? Well it will happen – eventually.

It doesn’t really bother me as long as I have plenty

Of time,

To kill,

With rhyme,

And skill,

And Facebook updates that tell the world about Jeffrey.

So ‘what’s on your mind?’

Will I find that it upsets me?

Insult my intelligence and generally offend me?

The dumb to clever ratio is five to one, I’ve said before,

So that means most of you are not clever enough to get me.

Fuck, I get so cocky – I apologise profusely,

I shouldn’t be so arrogant before I introduce the

Version of myself that sort of generally loosely

Corresponds with the persona that I’ve crafted on my looseleaf


Right now?

I’m on the right side of you.

You’re listening to me and I’m delivering a few

New lines, that’ll keep me on the right side of you.

You’re listening to me and I’m delivering a few

Clever lines, that’ll keep me on the right side of you…

(repeat, adlibs)

More music: click below

The Real Deal Dilettante Fraud


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