My homage to Anne Sexton’s ‘Her Kind’, a wonderful laser of a poem I discovered last week.     That Guy I have performed, a dancing minstrelGrinning for approval, shiny beads of sweat,Peacocking in my dapper apparelFriday night smiles on a wobbling head.A cornered, dying thing: please be kind,I’ll dance again! I’ll never forget!I have […]

For the 21st century beard renaissance.   Weird Beard My uncle has a weird beard. A big bristly brown weird beard. A big spider’s nest bear’s claws bristly brown weird beard. And it makes me scared. I run away from him when he scoops me up And wriggle and giggle but I don’t feel like […]

The saga continues… Shout out to all the recent Walthamstownions, especially the one who were originally looking at Leytonstone but couldn’t afford the four desirable streets therein. -Unseen In London (part 3) – Deep Deep Down Let’s talk about Walthamstow: The only place left to afford to go. And only if you are half a couple […]

This might be the world’s first true internet poem, written in real time, on my account.    

  The ambivalence continues… In London (part 2) – Tasting the Difference I made it so far and I’m back – Brixton. But the other side of the tracks – Listen: Last time I was here I was attached to my mum Now I’m here selling things with my wife – Visiting. Brixton’s changed in […]

DISCLAIMER: I’m kind of in character for this series, so no offence taking please. Unless, of course, you wish to take offence, then go ahead. Just explain why in the comments. Enjoy! -Unseen Flirtations In London (part 1) – Mr Black Hipster So I was walking through Hackney And practically everyone was looking right at […]

Slightly sinister for a Saturday morning, but hey, at least it’s out of my system. Therapy! -U.F.     Light Bulb I’ve got to change this light bulb. It’s dim and it swings And all it’s illuminating, Are broken, nasty things. Yellowing experiments With useless, lifeless limbs. I need to change this light bulb Before it […]


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